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you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
