I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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