what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
