you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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