Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
