He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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