They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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