Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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