Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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