i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
