I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
