My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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