Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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