I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
