I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
