I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
