i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
