We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
