On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
