My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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