For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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