I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i think my tv is drunk
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
