2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize