What a fucking waste of an outfit
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
