my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
