We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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