Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize