Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
