I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
