i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
