Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
