Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize