I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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