I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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