Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
