I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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