why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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