He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize