thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
