wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
