y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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