Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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