i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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