I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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