??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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