it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
