and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
