Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
