Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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