dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
