you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
