Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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