quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
