I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
