i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
