My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
