I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
