If i come over, it means nothing
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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