We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
