What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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