Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
