I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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